Welcome 2010!!

Finally we're leaving 2009.
Lets embrace 2010.

I'm so grateful for everything that has happened in 2009.

Some of the highlights from 2009:

1. I got my bachelor degree
2. Being trusted to take a bigger responsibility in ministry.
3. 22nd Birthday surprise.
4. Got an iPod Touch haha.

And so many things that I can't even mentioned one by one here.
2009 been such an awesome for year for me, thanks for each and every one of you who's being part of my 2009 journey.

Can't wait to see what 2010 has in store for me.
Can't wait to connect the dots.

I'm keeping all the memories neatly inside my brain.

Five of Them

I have five.
I love them all.
I want more.

Lazy Sunday (supposedly)...

Last day of long weekend.
And I spent it with working.
But no regret because i enjoyed it!

Had the third cover shoot for nu:B Magazine January's issue with Melaney Richardo and Ichsan Akbar.










Imel joined the team.

We went to Mal Ambassador afterwards, i bought four new glasses so now I have five of em.

Then went back to Plaza Indo, trying MOF Ice Cream, then watched Alvin and The Chipmunks 2, Nopay and The Tantos joined us.

And then early dinner at Kedai Pelangi.

Christmas BBQ

Besides family, I also spent Christmas day with friends.
BBQ party at The Sugiarto's house.
Kudos to Shinta and Imel the chef that night.



Sandy, Imel, Nopay, Jeffrey



Alay Style



another alay style with Shinta.



my high-quality bachelor buddy, Elbert (LOL)



Merry Christmas, mate!

ps: more pictures here and here

Merry Christmas...

Spending Christmas day with family.
Grateful for this...



with mum...



with Thirza





with Tony.



with granmum.

Siblings Madness...

This is what happened when we were parentless at home.

Current Obsession...

Adidas x Sennheiser









I'm drooling!
FYI, I'm still waiting for any Christmas present, anyone?

Stupid or Sweet?

Sometimes as a good friend, you gotta be supportive, even when your brain thinks it's stupid.

Because sometimes, what we see as stupid, might be sweet if we try to see it from other perspective.

So be careful on your judgment.

Try to see something from many angles.

You can save a relationship with that, by trying to see.
As simple as that.

Taking Care of Bussiness (part 1) - Andy Stanley

God is interested in how you doing your job.
Faithfulness to your job is faithfulness to your Father in heaven.

The significance of your work is not found in the details of your job, but in your willingness to put your heart to do whatever it is that God has called you and place

When you work, put your heart into it, dont just bring your body to the office.

We are so focus on where, friends with better job, the greener grass.

God is more concerned about how you performing now, then how you think you're gonna perform if He was to give you another opportunity, or move you into another industry, to get you that dream job that you've been after.

When do we begin praying, "Oh Lord help me to do my job with all my heart as unto You today, and I'll leave promotion and career changes to You for tomorrow".

Putting your heart into work allows God to bless your work.
God can bless you now, but He can't bless you until you handle that area of life that He has asked you to.

fighting faith?

You can not fight faith, can you?
But you can fight with faith, can you not?

Confused.

Oh well.. this is only the beginning.
Lets see where it ends
How it ends

Everything has a purpose, right?
So why worry.
Why bother?

Come on, keep on walking.
And have faith...

Come on keep on smiling.
And live this life with faith...

Christmas Dinner...

Had Christmas Dinner with Oxygen Leaders team, last Wednesday at Yakoya.
I joined this team last year, and I am proud to serve God with these bunch of crazy and creative people.





I got iPod touch 8 GB from Ka Etha and Sidney.
I've been wanting to have that thing (no pun intended), since a few months ago.
And now it's like a dream to be able to hold that gadget in my very own hands!

Thank you Jesus for the present!

because nothing is eternal...

Yeap, nothing is eternal in this world.
The only constant thing in this world, is change.

Semakin gw bertambah umur (sok tua banget, padahal seperempat abad aja belom haha), gw belajar bahwa hidup ini adalah sebuah sekolah untuk terus belajar mengenai bersyukur.

Belajar untuk bisa menikmati apa pun yang lagi diberikan sama your maker, ke tangan lo saat ini. Belajar untuk enjoy it best now, because it might not be there again for you tomorrow.

Belajar untuk letting go sesuatu. Di setiap periode waktu, kita pasti akan ketemu sama yang namanya momen "letting go". It's hard every time it happens, we think we won't survive, but hey we did. We will always do!

I've learned a lot about letting go something. Works, studies, love-life, and stuff.
But the hardest part so far is about friendship. I have to keep reminding myself that my friend, will not always gonna be there for me forever.

There are times when I have to simply let them go.
Because they have to pursue their passion.
They move to another country.
They fall in love.
Etc.

But again, I'll get better new friends.

Well, the key is to be grateful with the one I'm having right now, and enjoy it while I can.

This post is inspired by my friend Nasta's note in her Facebook, That's What Fuckin' Friend Are For :p

Love you all friends :)

Graduation Day!

Finally after 4 years of collegiate life, all the process in thesis-making, I am now officially an S.Si (Sarjana Komunikasi).

Welcome to the real life!

Fighting vs Tiredness

This is it.
The limit.
The border line.

I feel like I've pushed myself this far.
And this feeling of giving up is raising up higher day by day.

I lost my passion.
I lost the excitement.

A simple prayer in the morning.
Wish that I could survive and end each and every day safe and sound.

It's not that I'm weak.
It's not like I didn't try.

I've been fighting for quite some time.
I don't think I can't stand this anymore.
Honestly, I'm tired.

But what if I stop?
What if I give up?
I'm scared.

So here I am, I'm stuck.
I gotta keep on fighting.
Even though I am so extremely tired.

Russian Roulette

You can see my heart, beating, you can see it through my chest
That I'm terrified, but I'm not leaving
Know that I must pass this test
So just pull the trigger

Vita and Fery Wedding Days

Bukan Lagu Cinta

Not trying to be cheesy.
I simply love the lyrics.

-----

jika ada cara baru tuk mengungkap rasa rindu
aku ingin tau
aku ingin tau
jika ada cara yang belum dicipta untuk cinta
aku ingin bisa
aku ingin bisa

saat semua kata kehilangan makna
dan saat segala upaya terasa hampa
sekaranglah itu beginilah aku
berdiam tanpa daya hanya karena kehadiranmu
sementara jiwaku ingin berseru
setengah mati ingin kubilang

jika ada nada baru tuk nyanyikan lagu cinta
aku kan bernyanyi
aku kan bernyanyi
jika ada kata yang belum dicipta oleh pujangga
aku kan bersuara
aku kan bersuara

saat semua rasa melurus sayapnya
saat yang kumiliki hanya nafas ini
sekaranglah itu
beginilah aku
hanya detak jantungku yang mampu jujur kepadamu
sementara lidahku beku dan kelu
setengah mati ingin menghilang

jika mampu kubawa engkau menembus ruang dan waktu
kuingin pergi percuma disini
jika mampuku menyatu dalam darahmu
agar engkau tau

saat semua kata kehilangan makna
dan saat segala upaya terasa hampa
sekaranglah itu beginilah aku
hanya detak jantungku yang mampu jujur kepadamu
sementara lidahku beku dan kelu
setengah mati ingin menghilang

apa yang kurasakan apa yang kau dengarkan
bukan lagu cinta bukan lagu cinta
semua lagu cinta bukan lagu cinta

Gratefulness

I am grateful for the morning breeze that kiss my cheeks gently,
and whisper softly to my ears.

I feel loved each and every day by You...

extremely crazy Friday...

this is the moment where I need to write something on my blog, not because I want to, but because I extremely need it!

because of the urge of crazy moments that I need to deal with, that makes Twitter not good enough to facilitate this urge of writing (read: devoting all the stressfulness and complexity inside my head)

from my silly maid at home..
being chased by the deadlines, i still have 4 articles to go, and i still have to deal with my writers
dealing with client, with a lot of requests for their advertisement pages
and also dealing with a super bossy pampered-princess.

what an extreme Friday.
I'm going crazy now.
the world seems like blurring into a big whirly thing
spinning round and round and round
and i got sucked into it.

the beauty of living an adult life

Pilot?

What I wore on TAG Costume Party, November 1st 2009

Saya...

Saya cukup rapuh...
Walau terlihat kuat dan penuh dengan tawa lepas.

Seandainya yang namanya jatuh itu sedikit-sedikit tidak sekaligus.
Begitu yang saya baca di sebuah buku.

Saya bersyukur.

Jika tiba waktunya,
Akan jadi pelajaran melepaskan terbesar yang harus saya hadapi.

Saya ingin mundur selangkah.
Bukan karena takut.
Mungkin karena takut.

Saya ingin bijaksana.
Saya tidak mau jatuh terlalu dalam.

Hot n Cold

I love the lyrics of Katie Perry's song, "Hot n Cold".

----------

Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down

reality bites

There are some things in life that will never gonna happen.
For a reason.
For your own good.
For a greater good.
Or maybe it's just because the way it meant to be.

It's reality.

No matter how hard you wish.
If it's not gonna happen, then it's not gonna happen.

It's not about losing faith.
Or losing hope.

It's reality.

Life is planned already.
By the mighty power of the creator. You just need to follow through.
Keep on moving forward.
Your job is to walk and to feel.

Happy or sad, just believe, that it is part of the plan.

See it's not about losing hope.
Or losing faith.

If it's not happening, then maybe you need to wait.
Or maybe it's not the plan.
If that's the case you need to let it go.

Because reality says it's not for you.
Reality says, but this one is.

Just keep on walking.
Follow through.
Feel it.
Be grateful.

seperti itulah...

Seperti kosong,
cerebrum ini seperti ditangkap dan dibingkai dalam sebuah momen yang stagnan pada tempatnya.

Padahal, ada begitu banyak arsip yang ingin disuarakan.

Seperti tuli,
suara-suara bising yang berkeriapan, saling beradu liar di luaran, tidak lagi terdengar, menguap seperti dimasukkan dalam botol bersumbat kedap udara.

Seperti diam,
jutaan warna,cahaya,gerakan, semua yang dinamis mendadak beku, bagai realita yang dijerat lensa kamera, dilukis dalam sudut jauh memori.

Tidak bergerak.
Tidak maju.
Tidak juga mundur.

Seperti melayang, mengambang di tengah.

Seperti ada sesuatu yang dicuri, yang mematikan raga.
Seperti dicabut jaringan utama yang menghubungkan setiap kompleksitas yang menjadi kesatuan raga.

playing polaroid...

I love playing polaroid.
Capturing and framing moments in life, as an everlasting memory.

Sarjana Komunikasi

Akhirnya hari ini saya sidang, dan hasilnya lulus!
Henry Gerson Arnold, S.Si
Thanking all my friends and family for the tweets and prayers.
Couldnt passed this one without their prayer support.

I cannot reply their tweets or facebook message one by one.
So I would like to compile it all in here as an appreciation for them.

I'm really grateful having a lot of supportive people around me.

Love you all guys.

painkiller...

This is me training myself..
So when the time is finally come,
I won't be needing a painkiller.

There are too much of it spreading in every part of this city..
So when the time is finally come,
I won't be wishing to experience an amnesia.

Speechless...

It is normal for me to get free CDs from every label in Indonesia because of my job.
See what I got this morning.



"NOW Hits" in Indonesia "Yang Lagi Hits"

*speechless*

hmm...

Sometimes being a melancholic person doesn't feel really good.
Because you tend to feel everything.
You tend to absorb everything.
If you absorb something good, it will boost you up.
If not, you'll get drained.

Sometimes being a conscientious person also doesn't feel really good.
Because you tend to think about everything.
Even though you don't want to.

The best thing to do is to keep yourself busy.
Find a replacement.
Substitution.

Sometimes things are better left unsaid.

Sometimes you just need to pause.

Sometimes you'll get bored doing your routine, whatever it is.

Sometimes, you realize, that you are just a human.
And everybody else is.

Imperfectly perfect...

So long kriwilisme!!

Finally I had a haircut.
So this is me.
No more bibo, no more kribo, no more giring, no more kriwil.




So long kriwilisme!!

Freefalling, Soaring, Or Floating?

Different point of view.

I don't really think that I'm free falling.

It's more like soaring.

Well I'm not sure.

Or maybe I'm just floating??

I don't know.

Free Fallin'

I'm free falling.
Falling way too deep.
Scars and bruises.
Black and blue.

Love the adrenaline rush.
It might hurt but I have survived so many times before.
Will only need a few times to dust it off and try again.

I'm free falling.

Grief to Acceptance

I've been following the series of Grey's Anatomy up until its 6th season now.
In its 6th season, finally the resident gank, and the rest of the Seattle Grace are losing Dr. George O'Malley.

They are all dealing with differend kind of grief.

I love the script, I like the lesson.

-----
According to Elizabeth Kubbler Ross, when we are dying or have suffered a catastrophic loss, we all move through five distinct stages of grief.

We go into denial.
Because the loss is so unthinkable, we can't imagine it's true

We become angry with everyone.
Angry with survivors, angry with ourselves.

Then we bargain.
We beg, we plead, we offer everything we have, we offer up our souls in exchange for just one more day.

When the bargaining has failed and the anger is too hard to maintain, we fall into depression, despair, until finally we have to accept that we have done everything we can.

We let go.

We le go and move into acceptance.

In medical school, we have a hundred classes that teach us how to fight off death, and not one lesson in how to go on living.

The dictionary defines grief as, "keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss".

Sharp sorrow.

Painful regret.

As surgeons, as scientists, we're taught to learn from and rely on books, on definitions, on definitives.

But in life, strict definitions rarely apply.
In life, grief can look like a lot of things that bear little resemblance to sharp sorrow.

Grief maybe a thing we all have in common, but it looks different on everyone.

It isn't just death we have to grieve.
It's life, it's loss, it's change.
And when we wonder why it has to suck so much sometimes, has to hurt so bad, the thing we gotta try to remember is that it can turn on a dime.

That's how you stay alive.
When it hurts so much you can't breathe, that's how you survive.
By remembering that one day, somehow impossibly, it won't feel this way.
It won't hurt this much.

Grief comes in its own time for everyone, in its own way.
So the best we can do, the best anyone can do, is try for honesty.

The really crappy thing, the very worst part of grief, is that you can't control it.
The best we can do is try to let ourselves feel it when it comes.
And let it go when we can.

The very worst part is that the minute you think you're past it, it starts all over again, and always every time...

It takes your breath away.

There are five stages of grief.
They look different on all of us, but there are always five.

Denial.
Anger.
Bargaining.
Depression.
Acceptance.

-----

If you're in a deep grief right now, enjoy the process of turning it into acceptance.

Nothing is eternal in this life, one minute you have it, the next minute you might lose it.

The point is to enjoy every moment given to you to the fullest, and when it has to go, just let it go.

Accept it.

I Heart Weekend

For someone who has quite a hectic workdays like me, weekend means something really really precious.
Having a great weekend it's like a payoff, after having a very busy and exhausting weekdays.

And yes, I had a very refreshing weekend today.
Started my day with DATE Leaders training @ Patio Cafe, with fellows DATE Leaders.
From 8.30am to 3.00 pm, quite long, but very equipping.

Then off to Annex Building, Nikko Hotel.
Having fun @ Oxygen Service.
Kenny Goh was preaching something good about Joseph.

Then off again to Plaza Indonesia, E Birra-ing with some of my dudes, Elbert, Daniel and Jeffrey, then Astrid joined us.

I really enjoy the moment where I can laugh with them about nothing.
But I also enjoy the moment where I can share some serious thoughts with them about everything.

I think that's something that you need to find in friendship, in a healthy one.
Friends who can share you your dumbness, yet at the same time they can spare you some room for deeper thoughts.

Anyway, I kinda regret my-not-having-a-digicam-hence-i-lost-mine (bad grammar I know! LOL!), because I cannot upload any pics from today.

Well, pics are not really important compared with what you memorized.

1st Photo Shoot

Just had a photo shoot for nu:B's cover, October issue, with Ayu Dewi as the model.
It was fun, and was our first experience as a team.
And Ayu Dewi was a very funny and cooperative person.

This is a picture of the photo shoot.
Will be uploading more after the magazine is published.

Rest in Peace

A friend of mine just passed away last night because of HIV.
Tragically sad for me, because we used to play together back when we were still in junior high school.

I feel sad, yet I feel so grateful for God's grace upon my life.
He led me to a very different path of life, compared to some of my friends.

Seriously guys, take care of your life diligently.
It is too precious to waste.

Well anyway, Rest in Peace, my dear friend, Betsy Hilda Linda Lengkong.
I am grateful to know and have you as friend.

Unforgettable 22nd Birthday

I was kidnapped.
Dragged to McD Kemang.
Havent take a shower.
Still wearing my boxer and my sleeping-tee.
They straightened my hair with three straightening iron bars.
And they brought me to Plaza Senayan, wandering around the Plaza, where everyone gave me the despising and disgusting look.
And there I met one of my Pastors from church.
Superb.
Totally memorable yet traumatizing seriously.
But I love you all! Haha.



the kidnapped boy



the "magic" tools



the girls doing their job



the boys sadistically torturing me





my blenders boys, gotta plan a revenge upon each one of them haha.



my beloved DATE



Here they are: Willy, Wfu, Steven, Iris, Feriani, Daniel, Silfi, Astrid, Gideon, Yuda, Vita, Sandy, Debora, Hera, Tya, Aswin, Elbert, Mocil, Edwin, Stella. God bless you all! Hahha.



trauma



with Ps Jose at Plaza Senayan



birthday presents, thanking yola and astrid for the starbucks tumbler, and thanking elbert, edwin, daniel, debora, hera, irawan for the zara shoes.